i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
