dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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