Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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