he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
