SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
