I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
