i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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