Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
