PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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