Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
