Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
