Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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