Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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