There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
