If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
