meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
