I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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