I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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