Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love you.
Bad choice
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