the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
