its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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