Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize