I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
