Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize