And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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