Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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