Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
