Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
