Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
