But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
