i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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