this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Alive.
So much puke
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
