Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize