This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
