Your tits are I can't wait for
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
