My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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