Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize