It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
