I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
