Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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