you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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