Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I could make wine with my vomit
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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