Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Drake has all the answers
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
