How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My hand turned me down
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
