White coat. Heels.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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