YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
