you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize