yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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