Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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