Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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