he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
