i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
