Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
