...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
