At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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