the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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