Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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