We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
