I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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