In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
