Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
