Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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