You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
