perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
