So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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