to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
