We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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