Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm at about main and main street
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
