Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize