Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
