Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(214): View more from Texas

I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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(224): View more from Illinois

it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.

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(941): View more from Florida

I was born with a shot glass in my hand

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(917): View more from New York City

She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.

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(770): View more from Georgia

if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?

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(216): View more from Ohio

she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???

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(443): View more from Maryland

I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity

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(816): View more from Missouri

I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on

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