He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
