if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
