I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
