ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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