This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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