I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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