Are we in a gay sports bar?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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