At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
